Hi, I'm Charlie, and I'm

Maybe you've seen viral posts where people have powerpoints or resumes advertising themselves to eligible bachelorettes. This is like that.


(This is my sister and me)

Things I think are neat

Me with my poetry team in spring 2019.


"Charlie is only like 60% as weird as the existence of this website would lead you to believe."
-Salem, friend from school
"Anecdotally, there aren't nearly enough straight men going to therapy. So I guess he should get some points for that?"
-My therapist
"Super low-maintenance and a very attractive addition to your living space. Excellent value for somebody who's busy but wants to add a little zest."
-Actually an online review of a houseplant but it resonates with me a lot
"What? No. Why would I give you a quote for that?"
-An ex

Get in touch

Slide into my DMs on Twitter

Send me an email (old-fashioned but it works)


Why go to all the work of making this site when dating apps exist?

One of the things I hold most dearly is my commitment to stupid bits, and this is a pretty good stupid bit, so we're going for maximum effort. The outcomes aren't the point; the bit is.

So this is a joke?

Mostly, but I really am single ;)

Do you think you're funny?

Yea, I guess. More to the point, I recognize that this isn't up everybody's alley, but if you've read all the way to the bottom of the page you must be at least intrigued by this silly joke. I think there's some value in that.

Go (back) to my personal site